• The Beast Life


I am blessed in so many ways and I thank my God for those blessings every day. One of my blessings is also a curse, though; the FIRE to compete.

I have been like this since I can remember. Since I first put on a football uniform, or a baseball uniform or wrestling singlet when I was 7 years old. I always loved competition. When I say competition, I mean in sports. I was not really competitive in school or any other area of life. I probably should have been.

And although wrestling is the ultimate one on one competition, my fire was and always will be with football. I loved playing that game. I loved the contact. I loved hitting my opponents. I loved talking trash! I was certainly not the biggest person on the field, but I felt I played big and definitely talked big. My talking was probably very annoying, but it kept me fired up throughout a game. I was told to stop by many a referee and even a few umpires when I was a catcher in baseball. But again, it was the fire that was coming out of me.

So why is this a curse now? Why at the age of almost 52 (my birthday is in October) do I have this burning desire to compete?

If I had a wish, it would be to play football again. Of course, I know my body couldn’t take it. As good as in shape as I keep myself, there is no substitute for youthful joints, muscles and bones. Realistically, if I trained for a complete year to get back on the field for a real game, I could probably be in three plays for an entire game and then have to take the next 7 days to recover! That’s probably why there are no over 50 football leagues. You couldn’t field a team from week to week and nobody has health insurance that good!

When I was 43 or 44, I actually tried out for the area arena football team. I took my daughter to a few games and it started another fire in me. I got an email saying they were having open tryouts and I figured I’d give it a go. I had a month or two to train for the tryout. I felt I was in really good shape. Maybe I was just kidding myself, but halfway through the tryout I thought I had a chance to make the team… and then the agility portion of the testing happened. It was not good. What I took for granted when I was young was now gone. That and balance had left me. A big part of athleticism is balance and agility. If that is sub-par, you cannot compete with guys half your age or less! Hell, I was older than all but one coach! In the end, even though I was a bit dejected and the slap of reality of my true age, I was glad I did it. I competed on a football field one last time.

In the last 25 years I have done powerlifting meets, bodybuilding, bicycle racing (both road and mountain), wrestled in and old-timer’s tournament, played on an over 40’s softball team, and even did a biathlon. I had a great time doing them all, but none of them really quenched my thirst for competition. I love bodybuilding as a lifestyle, but the competitions, not so much. The prep for bodybuilding is awesome, seeing your body transform. I prefer competitions where, at minimum, 2 competitors are competing against each other and not being judged by a few people sitting in chairs below a stage. I have the utmost respect for every physique competitor. I know the extreme effort it takes. I’m just not crazy about how the winner is determined.

So what am I supposed to do with this fire I feel to compete? Seriously? Any suggestions? Or am I just done? How sad is that?

Thank God I have the gym. Being away from the gym during this COVID19 quarantine was brutal, both physically and mentally.

At the gym I am competing with myself. I have been doing this for years. I really believe if people could hear what I am thinking when I am at the gym, they would think I’m nuts! Calculations, rationalizations, and motivations all at the same time! And listening to my music too. It’s very loud inside my brain during a workout!

Again, like I said in the beginning, I know I am blessed. Blessed to be physically able to do the things I have done all these years. Maybe any hardcore competition is over for me. Maybe the fire I feel is really just like looking at pictures from your past. It’s great to reminisce. I’m grateful for what I was able to accomplish, but it’s time to move forward and realize this fire was never a curse. It was a gift.

I am very grateful for all my customers/friends out there. Any comments or suggestions are always appreciated.

Peace Always,

The Beast Life

30 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Let It Be...

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree There will be an answer, let it be For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see There will be an answer, let i

© 2023 by T-MARKET. Proudly created with